weird faces

 I met jef holms and did the classic make a weird face.... if you dont know who jef holms is, its cool. just google the Bachelorette.

this is jay leno and my making a weird face again.... : )

I shouldn’t be writing this blog post because I am frustrated.

I will, however, focus on what I did tonight. I went to a place called I-Jump. Sidenote, I don’t know why everything has an ‘I’ in front of it now. It is just weird. It was so much fun though! I cannot even describe. I went with a couple guys from my vball team this semester. They helped make it way fun. Basically, this place is covered with trampolines and sorts of. There are tramps that go into foam pits. Floors of tramps lined together. In the foam pit one I did a backflip! First one ever. I was so scared. I was jumping into a foam pit but I was still scared to death. Maybe not death, that is a little harsh. But nonetheless, I was scared. The first attempt I jumped and floated backwards and fluttered my hands and legs and landed on my back in the foam. It was pretty funny. They had a replay camera and I got to watch what I looked like. The second attempt I was jumping, got too close to the edge, and just sort of tumbled in. Right after that I nailed it. Landed straight on my feet. I think I would have been a good gymnast if I stuck with it and got over my fear of being scared of hurting myself. Seriously, gymnasts have not fear whatsoever. I got pretty pro as backflips in the pit. My next goal was to do a front handspring. I did it. I then decided to have a race around the trampolines with my friend Joel. The first race a little girl ran out in front of him and he took her out. Then I tripped over one of the mats that covers the springs. The second race, I tripped over the mat thing again! But at least I took Joel out with me. The third race I flat out tripped over the mat again. I took no one out. I laughed pretty dang hard. Overall it was a great night.

                                                                                                                                                

I get to go home on Wednesday. I could not be more thrilled. I need to just recollect myself. The same struggles are creeping up on me again. It is so frustrating to thing that I have overcome the struggles and self-doubts, but then BOOM they are back in an instant no questions asked. It is all good though. My life is great. I really have no room for complaints, only gratitude. 

Heroes

I am obsessed with the show “Heroes”. If you have not watched it, you should. If you don’t want to, don’t. I’m glad that I can watch this whole series without having to wait each week.

Let’s see. Life is fine. I have so much to be grateful for. I am so grateful for losing. Eh I hate it, but I love it. For some reason I am supposed to build character about losing. I’d like to say for the record that I have soooo much character. Gahl it is insane sometimes. So recap this past weekend quickly, both my volleyball teams lost. My girls team I was on was not a super hard pill to swallow that we lost, but my guys team was. I was so close AGAIN to winning with the team I coached. The guys lost on the same court we lost last semester. The team we lost to was not even super great, which AGAIN is frustrating. But I took it like a man. I swallowed my pride and smiled. I took losing with grace. The girls team I was on I thought from the beginning of the season we were going to be the worst. After the first practice...and the second... I was convinced that was true. Then we had a tournament. I then thought that we could win. We fought hard and then we lost. I was so upset. It brought me back to my glory losing days of high school volleyball. I have so much character.

I was also sick this past week. I get nasty colds. Man. All my life I thought I was resistant to colds, but alas in the past few years they have rocked me like a hurricane. Like the song reference? But, really. I could not breathe.

I am going home tomorrow for thanksgiving and I need it! I just have to get away and recoup a little. Get some strategies and such. I need to capture a man. I have to get a net and literally just capture him. There is no specific him, but I do need a him. I feel like this is a righteous desire.

Other than these things nothing is really going on. Just trying to get through life.

In the meantime, I hope your life is good. Mine is good too.

Xoxo

kk

progress i guess

On a happy note, here are my results. I never realized how gross I looked before, sorry not gross. Just unhealthy. So here is my goodbye to those 9 ¾ inches. Peace out and never come back.

I would not say I am stuck in life, more that I am progressing really slowly. I am truly trying to progress like the gospels says. I just don’t feel like it. But I have progressed physically as well as mentally. I think I grow up more and more every day in both senses. I also see how I am turning in to my mom more and more. I have come to this conclusion several times, all of which result in me crying. Like seriously. Those who know me personally know that I do not, or try not, to cry in public. I like to keep emotions to myself. I guess that is selfish, but I do it.

There have been several instances where I have started to tear up.  A couple of weeks ago I was helping Sarah drop her brother off at the MTC. From previous experience I have learned that one cannot simply drop someone off at the MTC without crying. That is impossible. So I offered to drive down with her to the MTC so she would not have to drive alone home alone. First we had to pick up her brother at the airport and while we were there two missionaries were coming home from their missions. As soon as I saw the elders embrace their mothers and family I started to tear up. I just remember when my brothers and sister came home and how spiritual and joyful it was. It is such a sweet experience to see them accomplish such a feat. I mean, giving yourself to the Lord fully for two years is intense. I cannot imagine how many days it could feel so difficult to keep going.

The second time literally just happened to me. I was reading my sisters blog and she was talking about how Cooper, her son, still snuggles with her. He is 5. To quote her blog she said, “Yester we were laying down having some quiet time in my bed (which we routinely do) and I felt him move my pillow so he could move his head on my shoulder. To be adored by your oldest son is something I will always cherish...all I could see when I looked at him was my tiny baby smiling at me, looking up at my eyes with his big blue ones”. I hope one day to have this relationship with my children. Hopefully soon I can start my family. This simple gesture by the Cooper-duper-super-fly-man made me cry. I miss them. I miss all of my cheese boys.

My other sister is pregnant with twins right now and she has asked me to be her doula. At first I had no idea what the heck that was. Basically it is an assistant to the midwife. I am going to help her with her labor. I am sincerely humbled that Natalie thought of me. We think alike. She told me I will be able to calm her down in ways that we both can understand. I hope I can live up to her standards. I am going to research and try to be the best that I can. This little gesture has got me thinking about becoming a midwife. I have always been fascinated with birth ever since I have watched my eldest sister give birth. I think it is amazing how a baby can be born. It is just insane. 

So that is my life for now. This weekend I have my volleyball tournaments for my guys team and girls team. Hopefully, we can both get to the championships...and hopefully we will win!

xoxox

gg

sort of new post....

Hooooo kay. Well lets just recap. No funny business....straight to the bullet points.
- I am a p90x grad! No big deal or anything....but I lost 9 ¾ inches over my whole body. So crazy weird. I knew the changes weren’t going to be crazy drastic, but 9 inches is pretty intense. I do see the results so I am pretty pumped for that. now it is just maintaining and continuing in my journey.
- Speaking of continuing, I am almost through Insanity. Let me tell you, the name is fooor reallsy. Like literally I think to myself that I am crazy for doing these things. Just plain crazy. But it is fun. I like doing these kinda workouts. Just to push myself. I highly suggest it to anyone!
- Went to lake powell and it was a delight. We hiked this trail called cathedral canyon. It was like a ropes course. First we had to shimmy up a crack, later we found out we could rock climb up the side which was precarious, then we had to climb a rope up like a 20 foot wall. With just a rope. Straight up wall. The next task was rock climbing up another wall. But this one was a waterfallish. It was like 8 feet high. There were little toe stubs to climb up. Brandon got up successfully and then helped everyone else up. the 8 foot waterfall acted like a slide so when you fell it was just a slide. Pretty cool. Then we had to walk in SCORCHING hot sand. All of us did not have shoes on. So we sprinted soo fast through the sand. It was worth it though. The end was this huge bowl shaped rock that was hundreds of feet tall. During a storm a waterfall cascades down. I wish I could have seen that. but I loved that hike.
- So lp was great as usual. I did a power slide. Ballin!
- Then I got to go home. Home is always nice.
- Surprise! I then got to go to new York! It was so fun. I hung out with my mom the whole time and it was a good bonding experience. We were there for 4 nights and we saw 5 plays. Literally my best thing ever. We saw Mary Poppins, Evita, Voca People and my favorites Newsies and Once.
- Lotoja
- Back in school! Volleyball! I am coaching and playing so imma be crazy!
- I don’t feel like typing....sooo lates man. Lates.

my garden has a tree in it that another puppy wants to pee on...

Sunday I had the opportunity to listen to one of my friends, Quinten, analogies. Man this one was a dooozy. I was a garden. I had a tree in my garden. But there was a puppy that wanted to pee on my tree that was in my garden. That’s the gist of it. You try to figure it out.

So the p90x has been solid since the beginning of the semester. I love the program, but I am excited to finish it and have a break. I am even more excited to start it again in the fall…..

Speaking of the fall, I have decided to stay up at school even though I am off track. I was weighing the pros and cons and I really think that staying up here will be best. I haven’t written out my pros and cons so I guess this is a good time as ever

Cons:
Wont be home
Will live in Rexburg
School for like 5 semesters in a row
Some friends are leaving
Might not get into the apt I want
My dogs wont be here
My family wont be here
I wont have a job
And probably more…but that’s all I can think of right now

Pros:
Class I take now will take a load off my last two semesters.
I wont have to have a stupid job
Better social scene
Competitive volleyball
My friends are here
My ward is awesome
A certain boy will be here in the fall….
An plenty more

So that’s the list. It seems that the cons are larger, but the gravity of the pros outweighs the cons. At least I think. It is weird to make these decisions. Its weird that I am 21, oh bee tee dubs I had a bday recently. Thanks for telling me happy birthday….but I think I realize that I need to trust the Lord. Work with him. I am making this decision with good faith that it is the right one. If it turns out to be wrong, then the Lord will let me know. I am going in this direction for now though. Hopefully I can get into the same apt as sarah or else that would suck. Slash I hope I can get in the ridge in general. I am on the waiting list, which sucks. I wish I knew earlier that I was going to stay up here, but oh well.

I was looking at other housing and there is nowhere else I would want to live… so I really really hope I can live at the ridge.

Lets see… tomorrow I will float down a river for like 4 hours. Great day to be in ‘Merica. Land of the fre’.
I went on a date the other night. That’s where the whole garden and tree thing comes to play. Figure it out yet? Anywho. My roommate tells me she think he really likes me. I am unsure yet of how I feel. I don’t know him very well and there are only 2 and a half weeks left in the semester. So not looking for a last chance hook up.

Anyway. 2 and a half weeks til I am home, 3 and a half weeks til I am at lake powell. So pumped its insane.

Xoxo

GG

week three

so we are in week three of P90X and boy its feels good. i think our favorite part of the whole program is hearing Tony, the main instructor guy, and all of his sayings. some of our faves are "bring it", "do your best and forget the rest", "german potato soup", "pam the blam", "hip, hop 'n raise" and so many more. but the all time favorite is when he introduces ab ripper X. he says "Ab ripper X, i hate it" then he pauses, tilts his head, and puts out his hand, "but i love it".

so i love this program. i love the fact that i can feel myself building muscle. its incredible. its only week three but i feel so powerful. sure i am dead tired by the end of the day, i hate it, but i love it. hahah my favorite line. but in all seriousness i think this program is teaching me a lot. both sarah and i love it because we dont have to worry about what we are going to have to do that day for workout. we just pop in the right CD and BAM we have our workout.

um other cool happenings. i am coaching a mens volleyball team for our competitive league at school. super exciting. yesterday was our first practice. at first it was a little shaky because i am not used to being in charge during a practice. after a rough first half hour, i sort of fell into the coaching position. then drills came more naturally. time will tell if i am a good coach. i hope i can learn through this experience. also, i hope i can win. haahh i hate losing sooo... that would be neat to win. thats about it. life is busy, but busy good. between school, p90x, hw, coaching, i am soo glad to be sleeping by the end of the night. seriously. last night i slept for a straight nine hours. ok.... now that doesnt sound that much for some of y'all. but for me thats awesome. i usually dont sleep throughout the whole night. i wake up often. so a whole 9 hours is great. that just proves to me that p90x is working. im pushing my body. i love it! haha well its easy to see i am in a great mood. life is good today. got my toes in the water, my toes in the sand, and a cold beer in my hand. life is good today. bee tee dubs, thats a song. zac brown band. look it up. umm.

thats about it. nothing more, nothing less.

xoxo

kimmah

P90X

well the debut of P90X pictures in about to come forth. now these pictures are not for the faint of heart. they are also the before pictures in our story. 

• this is a true story of the journey of two big butt roommates who want to see the their potential as not-as-big-butt roommates. they want to see how their bodies can become the most incredible machines possible. they want to try to have a more intuitive feel of their bodies. through sweat and hard work they will succeed, using each other as support. these pictures were a harsh reality of what does not work. results are given easily, but GOOD results need hard work. they know that if they expect certain results, the required work must be done. there is not easy way. no quick way. 

We have decided. We are committed. We will succeed. 

 my beginning

 a harsh truth

 my determination

 sarah's beginning

 her commitment

her determination.

now i am hesitant to put these pictures on this blog for many reasons. most of them obvious and common. but i need to show the starting point. the journey is not going to pretty. even the end result might not be profound, but the lessons being learned along the way are most important. we are learning life skills that will help our future families live healthy life styles. in a world where fast food dominates, the home can still control what is allowed inside.

so, my thousands of followers, watch or even join us. it doesnt have to be p90x, or any other crazy ridiculous program, but it does have to be a change. if what you are looking at is not satisfying, you can change it! sure, it is going to suck sometimes. sure, you are going to cave and have a piece of red velvet cake, then you are going to forgive yourself. sure, you will want to punch someone when the scale doesnt say what the work you put in says. its frustrating, but all of that should make you work harder and strive to be better. i have watched people's bodies around me become incredible machines. our bodies WANT to be healthy. this is our body, our choice. its a choice only we can make for ourselves. so lets make good choices. lets say no to the cookie and yes to taking the stairs. no to watching tv for 5 hours and yes for playing in a park. no to our generation of fast food and yes to a generation changing the norms. lets make healthy be the norm. obesity is a climbing common sight. how about healthy being the climbing common sight?

i'm in. are you?

Bring it.

xoxo
Kimberly

p.s. im done talking.

me thoughts

welp, the end of the semester is in sight. alls i gotta do is finish my 12 page paper and another 8 pager paper and create two portfolios and im done....what?? ugh i know. but im soooo close. things to look foreward too are (da da da daaaahh bulltion formation)

• spring semester P90x is going to shape my life. sarah and i are going to get so swole. hahah really though. im super pumped. i have see what counting calories does, now if i can ad p90x. life is good. im so pumped for that and so is sarah. we shall be doing a before and after and during pictures...prob be posted on here. sooo check back soon my wonderous followers.
• going home and having a variety of food choices. mmmm. to name a few the habit, genki sushi, in n out, itaila deli. cant wait
• i guess seeing my family fits in here. haha really though it does. i miss them.
• speaking of family, the babies. i think i am most excited for them. i always am.
• also, my dogs. i had a great dream last night of seeing my puppy corkey sue. she is in heaven being Jesus' friend. but in my dream we played and had sucha fun time. she let me kiss her now which she never let me do. im glad i get to see her in my dreams.
• banana phone
• possibly disneyland/six flags and for sure a dodger game. i usually dont like dodger games, but i do now. weird eh?
• beach...idk why this one was so delayed....
• running/ hiking on my trails
• i am pretty sure easter is around the time i am home. so that is neat.

so here is my struggle. dont get too excited its not that big of a deal. it invovles the hunger games. let me start out by saying i will end up seeing the movie, just letting y'all know of my precautions. welp i read the book. at first read i wondered if i liked the book. it was written well, buthte concept kind of irked me. anywho. i have a picture of what it all looks like in my head. i dont want the integrity of that to be ruined. if that makes sense. so i am heisitant to see the movie. that being said i am also curious.

life is good. i havent really been thinking about a whole lot lately. just trying to get through the last couple of weeks of school.

um ryder, my roommates dog is huge. like he is a real dog now.

xoxo

kk spesh

pick me ups

umm so a dear friend, john apgar/ i dont really know is last name. he has a great laugh. gahl. if i could do his laugh my life would be instantly better. um. anywho. i met him my freshman year and i havent seen him that much since then, now im in my junior year. but he works at albertsons, thats where i get my food. soo naturally i have bumped into him many a times. this last time i saw him he walked me out to my car and said, "kim, i just have to say you look great". i know right? i stopped and looked at him with a wide mouth and just smiled. of course i said thank you. but it just made me instantly feel great. i wasnt necessarily having a bad day, but the compliment couldnt have come at a better time.

just for all those wandering questions, john is a friend. has been and always will be. he and his girlfriend have been dating since last September. i joke with him that a great graduation gift to himself would be to propose to her. i mean they are going pretty slow in MST (Mormon Standard Time).

welp, life is good today.

xoxo.

round up

this last month was hard. no joke straight up difficult. all of it was mentally. i always play head games with myself with ALWAYS makes me go insane. but i think its all good. i had some great spiritual experiences which have helped me overcome some internal struggles. nothing super awesome that i can recall has happened. i guess a couple. sarah and i have started counting calories. its so tetious and annoying, but also good because i have to make what i eat count. so, its a great help for me to start eating right. also, my roommate and her bf got a puppy!!!!!! his name is ryder and he is the cutest lil guy ever. gahl. i love him. a great snuggle buddy and he has puppy breaths. stinky but irrisitable. ill write more when i can think. i am just procrastinating my hw. soo. yikes.

xoxo

the kim turley diet

so i got sick on tuesday. balls right? from 8 in the morn until 4 the next morn i was puking ever 15-30 mins. sick nasty. shout out to ali and sarah for making my ailments bareable. without them i would not have survived very well. THANK YOU. they provided me with a great need of chocolate milk and sprite and crackers. the essentials in my book. it started off bad just because i had nothing in my stomach soo therefore the only things i could throw up were stomach fluid i.e. acid. uhh not my fave, but ok. so i had to put stuff in so i could chuck it out. 2 positives out of that , queue bullet points

1. i got to receive a blessing. now i was hesistent at first because i know my sickness when i get the flu. i throw up for 24 hrs ever 15-30 mins. its standard. it is something i have come to accept. but ali and sarah were still concerned so they called over a couple of our FHE brothers and they gave me a blessing. it was super sweet. i havent had one of those in a long while. i needed to hear some of the things said. thankful for that.
2. i lost 8 pounds.

ok granted have of the 8 poounds is back because it was just water weight, but he i will take it. helps me get close to my goals. hahah jk. uh i dont plan on having any disorders with eating. i love mah food.

i got a new phone today! whoooooooop. i have had my phone for 2 years but now tis time for a change. i got an HTC design, thanks to daddy of course, shout out to him! and i am in love with it.

this past weekend i got to go to my cousin Katies wedding. she looked simply fantastic. she was/is soooo happy that it made me happy. Katie and i are not super duper close, but whenever we see each other its like we have never been apart. i love that relationship. sure i hope one day we can become closer, but at this point in our lives i think this type of relationship is perfect. i wish her every happiness that comes her way. she deserves it.

pretty sure thats it. uuh my outlook is neutral right now. im not super bummed anymore, but not super excited about anything. soo im average. which is fine. im ok with that. umm. yeah but seriously, shout out to ali and sarah, they are the best.

xoxo

kimmah

p.s. wipeout, the show, called me today. they want me to go to a casting. uh rockin right?

a struggle...

so i dont like to write negative posts, but im going to today. i have been feeling like crap all day. not physically, but emotionally. yes, there have been moments here and there that have been good, but overall a poopy day. i have just felt a sense of self doubt and unsureness about myself. the usual confident me has left somewhere and been replace by my old concerned self. its hard to feel good enough when your in a mood like that. sure people can try to help me out of this rut, but its truly up to me. im trying things like playing the piano, finishing my assignments, even late night taco bell runs, but those dont help. i guess scripture study and prayer are next. even then though, it would change over night. maybe i get these kinda days so i can let people into my life. but half the time i dont even know what i am thinking. gaaahl so confusing.

that was my rant. im done. no more self pity, loathing, or negativity. i am taking a deep breath and letting go all of that negative energy.

great stuff. hmm i have no really inspirational thing to say right now, cause well i am not inspiring myself. uhh... this is awkward.

inches by inches

so i grew an inch this past weekend. some could say i grew a pair. but i went out of my comfort zone. i was invited to watch a vball game at some persons lounge with a bunch of other people that i kinda knew. i didnt know them super well, but then ALI forced me to go. i know that sounds bad. im 20, in college and its friday, i should be social. anypoo. i went. right as i was getting out of my car i said to myself, "big things happen by being uncomfortable". reflecting on that, so true! any situation that i have had fun at or been inspired or any other positive thing, i was uncomfortable at first. its natural to be unsure when entering a situation that you are unfamiliar with. i finally stepped out of my comfort bubble. i dont always like change, but its a common occurance in life. i think i am finally embracing change and letting things change me. gahl i am learning sooo much right now. i am a stubborn person and very much set in my ways. though over the last year i have changed, in my opinion, quite a lot. i dont always have to be right, even though my friends will say i still do but in all fairness most of those arguments i am right, i am letting people know i am vunerable, i cant do everything and i am not perfect. that last one was/is really hard for me. i dont like to be percieved as weak, so i build up walls that people cannot break down. now that i realize people want to break the walls down so they can sit with me in my fort, i have to help them see the true me. i have to open my front gate that requires them to cross over my moat thats filled with piranahs. when can do that, i can have true friends. i have done that with a couple of friends right now, but i have a lot of room to improve (not perfect, SEE!).

also, its blizzarding right now. bums.

seriously,

kimmah

rockin the Pooh

today in REXBURG it is ferociously blowing wind. it made me most def walk sideways. soo i naturally wore my Winnie the Pooh windbreaker. now i originally aquired this jacket when the cleaning ladies left it at my house. best find of my life. also, fun fact, on the back inside of the jacket it has step by step instructions on how to draw winnie the pooh. neato.

umm 1 reason why i love ali mahterian is because we can have word wars. by this i mean use a word sooo often and unnessisarily. example. yesterday we had a slash war. every start of our sentence started with saying 'slash' if we had another point in our sentence we would say slash again. here is an example,

that food was soo good slash i think i eat too much. slash but im glad i did because i worked out hard today. slash i raced some kid on the bike next to me. slash i won. slash he didnt know we were racing. slash i still won.

we could go on for hours.

so here for the nitty gritty. i realize i have to grow up and have adult conversations. i just dont want to. i find it much easier to just ignore it and move on until the problem goes away. i have a sitch that this is not applicable slash i have two sitches. GLORY BE i am obviously supposed to learn something. i am going to try. honestly to be better in both situations even though i would love to be an ostridge and shove my head into the ground and play call of duty. alas, i am 20 and thus supposed to do grown up things. balls. i dont want to.

ill keep you updated on that ^ if i choose to not be an ostridge.

xoxo

kim possible

whirl wind

soo i am no longer in california. i am back in the great state of idaho. always bittersweet leaving home, but its part of growing up. its never a fun part i might add.

since i am in idaho that means i am back at school. i have five classes and 15 credits. not too bad. im taking visual media, writing for a comm career, language theory, advanced research and anylisis, and my favorite creative writing. i like the majority of my classes, but some of them will not be very fun. they have to be done though in order to become a member of the real world.

so a couple of cool things.

1. i am awesome.

2. the other day my roommate sarah and i were at a church function. our FHE brothers decided it would be funny to steal sarahs car key. they then thought it would be great to watch us struggle outside as we tried to find the key. well as payback, we stole their table. we left the chairs, but took the table. sooo funny. at least thats what we thought. they just didnt care. so that sucked.

3. i went 11-3 on COD

4. i played vball yesterday and i sucked. well, yeah just not good at hitting, but in all fairness, the net was in between guys and girls height. i am very sore.

5. i am reading the chronicles of narnia. i just finished book 1 and i am onto number 2. the first one was pretty good. its nice to read a simple childs book. but the thing is there is sooooooo mcuh sybolism in it. love that.

6. i am still awesome.

7. ooooo super pumped. my best friend ali had recently lost 50 pounds. woot woot! she did that but just eating right. but now she wants to work out. so i thought about it and decided that giving her a goal would be great motivation. i know that losing weight is great motivation, but lets get real, that is everyone's goal. so why not be specific. so i offered up the idea of doing a half marathon. she agreed. and she is totally stoked! im really excited about it! and i am so happy to help. i KNOW this is going to change her life. she will be soo happy with herself and be able to maintain a healthy human body. i am very proud of her. i know it is hard and painful, but she has a great attitude. the other day she did not want to run at all, confession neither did it, and it was her long run day. but she did it. she mentally pushed through. to me that is the hardest part of any workout, mentally pushing yourself to do better. if you dont push yourself, you can never improve.

8. thats all i got. sooooo cool.

xoxo

k-spesh.