inches by inches

so i grew an inch this past weekend. some could say i grew a pair. but i went out of my comfort zone. i was invited to watch a vball game at some persons lounge with a bunch of other people that i kinda knew. i didnt know them super well, but then ALI forced me to go. i know that sounds bad. im 20, in college and its friday, i should be social. anypoo. i went. right as i was getting out of my car i said to myself, "big things happen by being uncomfortable". reflecting on that, so true! any situation that i have had fun at or been inspired or any other positive thing, i was uncomfortable at first. its natural to be unsure when entering a situation that you are unfamiliar with. i finally stepped out of my comfort bubble. i dont always like change, but its a common occurance in life. i think i am finally embracing change and letting things change me. gahl i am learning sooo much right now. i am a stubborn person and very much set in my ways. though over the last year i have changed, in my opinion, quite a lot. i dont always have to be right, even though my friends will say i still do but in all fairness most of those arguments i am right, i am letting people know i am vunerable, i cant do everything and i am not perfect. that last one was/is really hard for me. i dont like to be percieved as weak, so i build up walls that people cannot break down. now that i realize people want to break the walls down so they can sit with me in my fort, i have to help them see the true me. i have to open my front gate that requires them to cross over my moat thats filled with piranahs. when can do that, i can have true friends. i have done that with a couple of friends right now, but i have a lot of room to improve (not perfect, SEE!).

also, its blizzarding right now. bums.

seriously,

kimmah

rockin the Pooh

today in REXBURG it is ferociously blowing wind. it made me most def walk sideways. soo i naturally wore my Winnie the Pooh windbreaker. now i originally aquired this jacket when the cleaning ladies left it at my house. best find of my life. also, fun fact, on the back inside of the jacket it has step by step instructions on how to draw winnie the pooh. neato.

umm 1 reason why i love ali mahterian is because we can have word wars. by this i mean use a word sooo often and unnessisarily. example. yesterday we had a slash war. every start of our sentence started with saying 'slash' if we had another point in our sentence we would say slash again. here is an example,

that food was soo good slash i think i eat too much. slash but im glad i did because i worked out hard today. slash i raced some kid on the bike next to me. slash i won. slash he didnt know we were racing. slash i still won.

we could go on for hours.

so here for the nitty gritty. i realize i have to grow up and have adult conversations. i just dont want to. i find it much easier to just ignore it and move on until the problem goes away. i have a sitch that this is not applicable slash i have two sitches. GLORY BE i am obviously supposed to learn something. i am going to try. honestly to be better in both situations even though i would love to be an ostridge and shove my head into the ground and play call of duty. alas, i am 20 and thus supposed to do grown up things. balls. i dont want to.

ill keep you updated on that ^ if i choose to not be an ostridge.

xoxo

kim possible

whirl wind

soo i am no longer in california. i am back in the great state of idaho. always bittersweet leaving home, but its part of growing up. its never a fun part i might add.

since i am in idaho that means i am back at school. i have five classes and 15 credits. not too bad. im taking visual media, writing for a comm career, language theory, advanced research and anylisis, and my favorite creative writing. i like the majority of my classes, but some of them will not be very fun. they have to be done though in order to become a member of the real world.

so a couple of cool things.

1. i am awesome.

2. the other day my roommate sarah and i were at a church function. our FHE brothers decided it would be funny to steal sarahs car key. they then thought it would be great to watch us struggle outside as we tried to find the key. well as payback, we stole their table. we left the chairs, but took the table. sooo funny. at least thats what we thought. they just didnt care. so that sucked.

3. i went 11-3 on COD

4. i played vball yesterday and i sucked. well, yeah just not good at hitting, but in all fairness, the net was in between guys and girls height. i am very sore.

5. i am reading the chronicles of narnia. i just finished book 1 and i am onto number 2. the first one was pretty good. its nice to read a simple childs book. but the thing is there is sooooooo mcuh sybolism in it. love that.

6. i am still awesome.

7. ooooo super pumped. my best friend ali had recently lost 50 pounds. woot woot! she did that but just eating right. but now she wants to work out. so i thought about it and decided that giving her a goal would be great motivation. i know that losing weight is great motivation, but lets get real, that is everyone's goal. so why not be specific. so i offered up the idea of doing a half marathon. she agreed. and she is totally stoked! im really excited about it! and i am so happy to help. i KNOW this is going to change her life. she will be soo happy with herself and be able to maintain a healthy human body. i am very proud of her. i know it is hard and painful, but she has a great attitude. the other day she did not want to run at all, confession neither did it, and it was her long run day. but she did it. she mentally pushed through. to me that is the hardest part of any workout, mentally pushing yourself to do better. if you dont push yourself, you can never improve.

8. thats all i got. sooooo cool.

xoxo

k-spesh.

Technology.... What it is all about

The title of the blog is based off of a great skit that Ali g did. The link is provided below. The reason I am writing about technology is because I am on my moms iPad and let me tell you, it is a delight. First off, I never have to spell check. That's cool right? You guys might understand what I am saying. Also, I and typing this like a computers key board.seriously the coolest thing ever. Basically I want and iPad. I won't get one fora while, but Icahn play with them all I want while I am home. Another fun fact. Autocorrect. I have seen many peoples text messages where they spell something wrong and it autocorrects it into something completely inappropriate or random. So pretty sure that has happened here.though, I refuse to read and fix. Obvious.

http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?v=eB5VXJXxnNU

a turning point

my post today is a bout a turning point i had yester day. i went for a run. now, i have two routes which choose. one is longer than than the other. basically i run to one point, a stop sign, then i run back toward my house. it is on the run back that i decide if i go big or go home. hahaha lliterally though. as i jogged to my decision, i thought, "Kim, what do you want?" naturally i wanted to be home, showered and eating some sort of delicious treat. but then i pushed that a aside and had a vision of what i want to be. healthy. and with that, skinny. so i quickly re-routed to the long run trail. FANTASTIC. yeah i am not gonna sit here and say i ran the fastest i ever did that trail, im not even gonna say it was easy. it was hard. but nothing easy is worth getting. hence sluts. haha that was rude. but really. When i got home (capatalized this sentence) i did some weights. i felt great. not that i have not had great workout before, i have always pushed myself and motivated myself, but today is the first time i noticed it i guess. all im saying is self motivation is truly the best form of motivation. if you dont want it, its not gonna happen. you are ALWAYS faster than the person sitting on the couch.

so here i am making a declaration, i refuse to go backwards. last year i was at an all time low of my weight and i gained that all back. this year it has not come off as easily. but now i have learned new things. i am excited to go back up to school and work hard at the goals i have set in mind. dont worry my large audience, you will know my goals and see my progression, good or bad.

my biggest frutration is i want to be a certain weight. but i am doing muscle building excersizes to tone and such. well it takes time for muscle to form. thus, i am still the same weight, but i can see a change. thats always nice. just frustrating to see a change in the mirror but not on the scale.

but its all about inches.... all about inches. i just keep telling myself that.

today at kickboxing i heard myself say the same thing. i was tired and i didnt wanna work out, but then again i said, "kim what to want?" immidiately i knew what i did. so i worked for it. i woudl much rather be sore today, than sorry tomorrow.

my advice to people would be push yourself. if today you can only do one push up, thats great! tomorrow do 2. if thats a struggle, do 2 the next day or until you can do 2 really well. then move on to three. just always improve. you cannot stand still in any aspect of your life. you are either moving foreward or backward, there is no middle ground.

so yeah, my name is kim and i am not a size 0. i have a butt. some would say it is likened unto a butt of an black woman. but am i healthy? yes! i work hard to keep myself able to walk up stairs without being winded. i am excited to run around and play with my future kids. i want to be THAT mom. the one who keeps up with her kids and sometimes beats them. and by beat i definatly do not mean physically abuse them, but beat them at activities.

the hardest step is the first one. but i am past that. i am already out the door and plan on staying there.

so, what are you waiting for? catch up with me.

and one more thing

i forgot! i wrote another song. i should record these down and post them up here. gahl. thats scary. here are the lyrics. yes, another not happy song. SURPRISE!

Without You

you told me my life with you would never end
i believed you, by best friend
now i can see thats where you lied
the moment you left, theres no way i survived

and when you left you stole
all the breathe from me
hold my hand and wait
as i suffecate

now that your gone
my fight is over
so why dont i run from you?
instead i watch myself slowly die

im sitting on a bridge
my feet are hanging down
with you we could win
yet, you push me in

now that your gone
my fight is over
so why dont i run from you?
instead i watch myself slowly die

we walk into my grave, you lay me down
its home
your poison led me here without a remedy
im gone
isnt that what you wanted?
fine, you win
im dead

na na na na na na na na na na na na na

now you will see how much you need me
cause its my breathe that you need to breath

now that im gone
your fight just started
i dont wanna run from you
i wanna watch you slowly die

without me

na na na na na na na na

good luck



yep. another somber one. but they are fun. i am learning a lot. um. i am working on a 4th song and a 5th, but the 5th is a country song. hahaha i like it. more to come!

MW3

ok, so this is mark hamill aka luke skywalker. kinda a big deal. yeahkthanks
my cheeseboys
ohh man. this guy
coolest thing. i took my car in and this was what my miles were exactly. neato.
i dressed him.

kel mitchel (all that, keenan and kel) he yelled jupiter when we took the picture.


hmm where to start. no real news. just a couple of things. que bullets.

• first, i applied for study abroad italy for fall 2012. yaaayyy. some concerns. in order to be accepted i have to take italian 101 before i depart. easy right? i am in college, that class should be offered. false. it is not. thus i would have to find time out of my sched on top of school to do that. its possible but idk if i wanna do it because another thing is the classes i would take would not count towards my major. they would be like empty credits. i dont wanna work for empty credits. i just wanna see europe, not work while i am there. soo i have a lot to think about.
• funny story. one my way to get the mail at work (at a p.o. box) i saw an old man walking down the street playing the violin.....what? like that was casual or something. i rolled down my window to listen for a moment, he was good the few notes i heard. on the way back, i saw a man dressed in a circa 1920s tux with top hat included. he was old and had a large white beard. also, he was smoking a sherlock holmes type of pipe whilst twirling a cane. bamf.
• i made a dress from scratch. it took me a while to finish, but it turned out good. i had not pattern and just sort of made it up. it was stressful and frustrating, but i am glad i did it. i learned a lot. now my next project is to convert old shirts into cardigens. booom. gonna be great.
• best news. i got all the classes i wanted for my next semester at the times i wanted. i had to wake up at 4:55 am to do so, but i was done in 5 mins anyways so it was worth it.
• oh modern warfare 3 came out. delightful. i am getting better. WATCH OUT
  

thats it.

xoxo
Little Inez