so i am an adult?

well, i have made an adult decision and it sucked. so yesterday i was invited to spend the day at the lake with some good friends. sounds good right? a nice monday on a lake doing various wonderful activites. but, alas, i have work every day from 9-2. so i could call in "sick" and go to the lake or i could go to work. after tormenting hours, i decided it would be best to go to work. i went back and forth many times, but in the end logic ruled me out. a day of fun? or a job til the end of the year? since its only my second week, i need to be making a good impression.

speaking of good impressions, i went and played poker last night with friends. i told everyone i was not very good at the begining. i asked what hands beat what and such. i made a horrible bet ont he first round. then BAM i attacked. i didnt win the night, but i was def a competitor. i got 4th out of 6th. i lasted about 3/4 the time we were playing. i surprised some people. i love poker. its so much fun. i dont gamble, but its just a fun game to play. a bit of an addrenaline rush if you will. you have pocket 2's, not the best but you need to see the flop so you call the raised bet, then the flop happens, nothing that helps you, but you can back down, you raise the bet yourself, show everyone you are confident, then the 4th card. another 2! with confidence you put forth a medium to high bet, people are hesitant, but agree. then the river. by this time the cards dont offer much to other players. you do one last medium large bet, bam. everone is still in. your heart beats so fast as the others flip their cards over. you see them and realize you have won. your shaking hands stop. thats what happened to me. phew. i cant wait to play again!

um thats it.

kk

grammer, spellling, and wording. OH MY

So for all those who were so curious as to what i am going to study for the rest of my college days, the answer is english. please, stop laughing for a few moments as i explain. i love to read. i want my job when i am old to be all about reading books. thus, i want to be an editor or a literary agent; therefore, i need a degree in english. i realize that english will not be the only thing i need for these types of jobs. so i am minoring in communication. then i could possibly do the PR aspect of books. thus, i still get to read them AND tell other people to read them. now you may be thinking, "hmmm, how can this girl succeed. I have read her blog and its full of grammatical mistakes, spelling errors and her wording is atrocious". well folks, my blog is my free write. in a free write you dont take time to spell check or anything, you just write fast and the first things that come to your mind.

i got a job! woo hooo! shout out to my dad who always helps me. i work at a properties managemnt firm like 10 mins from my house. my longest commute yet. its a pretty decent job. i do the tasks they give me and i try to do it to the best of my ability.
bonus about this job! umm so the next door business is what? please guess? a starbucks? jamba juice perhaps? how bout an insurance company? errrrr. wrong. a medcinal marijuana shop. yep. a pot shop. the first day i walked into my office i knew i smelled pot (this is coming from a high school where kids would show up to school high). and then i just sort of ignored it. my co-worker then two hours later told me there was a pot shop next door. we laughed. i was hungry. along with smelling pot everday, which i never enjoy the smell, we get to watch the people unashamedly walk in and get their 'medicine'. characters. thats all i have to say, c-h-a-r-a-c-t-e-r-s.

so for the singles ward at home, my ward now. yay. we are doing a regional activity where each ward has to write and record a ten minute movie. well my brother, who is the ward with me, loves zombies. he went to the planning meeting soley for making sure the movie was about zombies. so by the end of the planning movie, its a zombie apocalypse meets jack bauer in 24. needless to say its going to be great. my whole part in the movie is having jack yell at me. i will always ask him a question or for help and he just yells "I dont have time for this!" its my brothers favorite part. i think its going to be good.

I wrote two songs on the piano. i was surprised at myself. i thought i could never write music. its basic mind you, but i like them. they are my lyrics that explain my life. i will write the lyrics, i think they are great.

you dont need me
by Kimberly Turley

you don't know the affect you have on me
when you're not there i cant breathe
my world goes black when you're not around
something is wrong, there lies my fear

CHORUS
how can i live without you hear
to save me before i fall down
there is no way to get up
i need you way more than you need me
oh baby please dont see
how you dont need me

there is no way for me to explain
the broken rules to my messed up game
so how could you win, but would you still fight?
through the shattered rules
the broken pieces, am i worth it to you?
CHORUS

This is my plea that i give to you,
give me the chance to let you break through
all my walls are quickly falling apart.
opening a way to my heart.

I could beg
i could crawl
if i thought that would change it all
but i know that it wont

there is not more that i can say to you
if you dont
love me too. but i dont
want to fall. dont let me fall
let me leave, standing tall. still

I cant live without you hear
to save me when i fall down
you are the reason i get up
i need you way more than you COULD need me
oh baby please just see
how you save me.

i cant live without you near.
so i'll be waiting right here.

the second song!

picture perfect
By Kimberly Turley

dont put me on a pedastool.
what happens when i make a mistake and move
and when i fall, do i fall out of your heart?
how high was i from the start?

CHORUS
i am not your picture perfect
i tried for you to make me worth it
but i cant, you put me to high in the sky
bring me down and meet me eye to eye

my lips are not rose red.
and how did you get that out of what i said
i try to explain to you but you dont understand
you need a breakthrough or a break is all i have for you

CHORUS

now that i hurt you you can finally see
that i am not everything, you told me i would be
but deep down i swear you knew me and you didnt care
dont use me as an excuse
either way you loose, because

You are not my picture perfect
you try, for me but you're not worth it
and you will try to meet me in the sky
but you will fall as tears stream down my eyes

cause i know

i am my own picture perfect.
i tried to change for you but its not worth it
so i'll soar into the sky
you cant meet me so i guess this is goodbye.


so yeah. those are my two songs. i love them. i am working on a third thats a little more happy. but now that ithink about it, is not really. hmm. oh well. misery loves company. not even sure that works.

till next time

xoxo
GG

while its fresh

so lake powell 2011 was soo much fun. there was the usual wakeboarding, tubing, jetskiing, hiking, and so forth. so here are a couple of stories.

• wakeboarding: well i didnt jump the wake, yet. but i am getting a lot more comfortable with myself on a wakeboard. i can jump in for the wake and get some air, but not a lot. still an accomplishment. i attempted a powerslide. i almost did it but couldnt whip my foot out enough. i am just assuming everyone knows these terms, i dont really want to explain them. thats what google is for.


• tubing. wow. k so i was on a tube, my dad hits a wake, shoots me 8 feet in the air at like 30+ mph. as i was in the air i looked down and saw the water and thought, "um, i am not in my tube, nor the water. what?" then the water hit with a vengance. it hurt but man it was so fun. my brother bud got the wind knocked out of him, and i got a bruise on my eye, but other than that we were all safe. thank goodness.


• jetskiing is one of my favorite things to do. i just like to go fast with no restrictions, til tears run down my face uncontrolably. not that i was crying, but when there is wind in your eyes going at like 55 mph, your eyes just automatically tear up.


• hiking. OKAY so we went on three hikes. all of which i have done before but they are nonetheless very fun. first hike: peek-a-boo arch. the end of this hike results in finding a natural arch that is about 500+ feet above the lake on the edge of the wall surrounding the lake. its really scary. it gives me vertigo just looking down when i am up there. so cool hike, but always makes me poop in my pants. second hike: this was by far my most favorite hike. so we went to a place called hole-in-the-rock. this is a man mad passage by the pioneers. they blew through the canyon with explosives and took their carts, baggage, children, etc down a narrow steep passage to settle somewhere in southern utah. this resulted in history and a cool hike. you can see in some places where they hammered stakes in the wall to help with the wagons. anywho. so its reletivly straight up and you have to climb over rocks. i was wearing sandals because i was. haha. and i hate shoes. so the whole time on the way to this place we saw a storm coming. little did we know it was a crazy storm! about half the way up the rain hits. it was the coolest feeling in the world. one second, completely dry, then bam soaked. it was anything but drizzle. also, since the pioneers just exploded a hole in the rock, hence the name, the sides of the trail are striaght up walls that extend like 300 feet-ish. so the rain just pelts off of those walls and was hitting us. now i did not realize the extent of the situation. i just though how cool it was. only after, when people told me, did i realize i was caught in a flash flood. so i was with jona hiking up slowly, and brandon, matt, and taylor (yes i am aware no one knows the latter two) were up above us. they stopped when the rain started and hit under a rock. we were below them. they warned us about falling rocks and we saw a couple of huge boulders fall right next to us. well i didnt like just standing there so i said, well jona, im going to hike up. you coming? so i took off my sandals, there were no use now, and so we got to the top. seriously i cannot describe how cool it was. we had to hike up newly formed waterfalls, pick rocks that would not slip and fall on us. it was breathtakingly beautiful. well after the storm died down, brandon and company, who had stayed under that rock and not seen us pass them, went down to look for me. they came across my sandals and panicked a little bit. they thought something terrible happened to me. while i was up top admiring the beautiful view of the passing storm. they then decided so climb up toward the top. i saw them and yelled down to them. then all was well. i do not regret continuing climbing in the storm. it was the stupidest, but most amazing moment of my life and i would not take it back for the world. the third hike was less exciting. basically you go through slot canyons what still have water in them. but you do not know how deep so you kind of just have to walk in and go for it. me, jona, brandon and company made it to the second slot. but it only ends with a slot pool that smelled like poop and a waterfall that you cannot get up without a rope. still a fun hike. i always like that one.


• on the sunday we were there, we do not do things on sunday because its the sabbath and we are mormon, there was a crazy cool storm that passed our houseboat. ear shattering thunder and blinding lightening. then the rain pelted us. i was the last one standing in the rain. it was really fun to just sit there and get drenched.

those we the highlights of LP 2011. but overall a great week. i also got tan. so BAM. oh and my hair reverted to its natural blond state. THANK GOODNESS.

til next we meet. xoxo k speshul

p.s. i am the queen at blokus. google it.

c u next tuesday

So yes, its been a while. Booo hoo for you. I, on the other hand, have been having some crazy times. So I finished up school. So we shall start with my birthday!

• Well Brandon was unable to come up to visit. That was a complete bummer. I was at the farmers market with my roommate sarah, and my two guy friends jona and scotty too hotty. I get a call from Brandon. I was expecting him to say hey im on the plane, see you soon. Uh no. that is not what happened. He missed his flight. It was pretty frustrating. Both of us were pretty upset. i had to keep myself composed in front of my friends though. So I sucked it up and said I needed a diet coke. We rushed over to horkleys, Rexburgs famous large cheap drink place. Guess how long the line was to get a drink? Um at least a half hour wait. Not okay. Got back in the car and was even more pissed. So I we went back to the apartment. Overall the mood was bum-tastic. So I didn’t really have a plan for that night. Luckily, my momma sent me a package that contained a gift card to barnes and noble. BAM if anything could make me feel better it was that. and it did. Kudos to scotty and jona for coming with me and making my day better.

• So here is the next big thing that happened. So my friend jona turned out to be more than just a friend. We started hanging out every day. I would usually mozy over there casually at night. I am friends with everyone in that apartment so I would be very casual about showing my fondness for him. haha. I thought I was pretty smooth. Thing is, I am too smooth. I guess my little notions did not convey that I liked him. so one night, he was walking me back to my car and we were just talking. I was already thinking that something big is going down. So I asked him what he was doing tomorrow and he just interrupts me and says, “kim, do you like me?” I was just astounded by the straighforewardness of it. I liked that a lot. but being kim turley, I could not have just flat out said yes. I had to play it cool. I round a bout way said yes. And things went from there. I did tell him about my nervousness about relationships in general and how I am not always the most comfortable with touchy feely stuff. So we decided to just take is one day at a time.

• Well things were great. We would hang out at normal and we def got closer. Now for all those who know me, I am not a person to share my feelings. I do not like to talk about them, discuss them, analyze them, or even have them. hahah harsh but true. But I really opened up with jona. Hes a person who I can be comfortable with. I let myself be me. I saw a change with myself. A good change. I was comfortable being me. I don’t think jona understands how important that is to me. I am really happy when I am with him. he is also a very genuine guy. He treats me so well. I always feel safe with him.

• Now this is all a little bittersweet. At the end of the semester, as in like three weeks ago, we had to have the talk of what was gonna happen with us. Talking about feelings. Woo hoo. But this is good for me. I really have become better. The struggle for me is knowing what I want. I know I like being with jona. But I do not know how far I want that to go. I guess this is a fear of mine. I like to control things. I hate not know what is gonna happen. Its like reading a book but I can only get a page a day. there is no way I can read fast or skip to the last page and find out the ending. It blows.

• So for the bitter. We decided that we are on a break. I don’t know how long this will last. But it hurts none the less. It just hurts no knowing. I miss him being around and just talking to him. and have I mentioned that the break just happened yesterday. So….. hm. It’s been less than two days and it already sucks. But I guess this is good because then I get to really find out my true feelings for him. so as for now it sucks.

• Here is the bright side. Starting today I am going to just enjoy this time. sure I will miss jona, but maybe it will work out. Maybe it wont. Hopefully no matter what we can still be friends. I would miss him too much. I am going to go on dates and figure out what I want in life so I can make more definite decisions when necessary.

My life is a lot like a roller coaster right now. There are ups and downs, drops and climbs, but I still end up in the same place, back at the starting platform.