extra-ordinary

extraordinary is rather a remarkable word. let us dissect it, yeah?

extra:
adjective - added to an existing or usual amount or number.
adverb - to a greater extent than usual; especially.
noun - an item in addition to what is usual or strictly necessary.

ordinary:
adjective - with no special or distinctive features; normal.
noun - what is commonplace or standard.

extraordinary:
adjective -

very unusual or remarkable.

 

my definition:

pronoun - me.

 

everyone is their own kind of special. and everyone needs to find out for themselves what makes them remarkable.

 

it has taken me a some twenty years to realize that I am extraordinary. I don't mean this to come off as bragging or proudly, but more in the sense that I have a sense of who I am. and I am extraordinary. I have been trying to understand why I have been in a rut of a head game lately. the catalyst was when the merman told me he didn't want me. I wasn't mad at him; per say, I was mad of how I let myself feel and be affected by the rejection. rejection sucks. but it does not define who I am as a person. that night, through tears, I let someone else define me as a person. another person made me let myself feel like I was not of any worth. not his fault. I know I keep reiterating he is not at fault, but I don't want to degrade someone for being honest after I asked for honesty. I am mad at the answer, not the person. I truly hold no grudges.

 

back to me. cause honestly, that's the best topic. #sohumble.

 

I am extraordinary. I don't need someone to confirm or deny my extraordinariness, because I already know I am. extraordinary.

 

a problem with our world is that people, especially young people, are letting others define who they are based on menial things. I am all about people being themselves (caveat: i believe people are inherently good. so if be themselves is something good, i support that). with everyone's own insecurities and doubts who are we to judge other people for their lives? it seems that people focus on others so they don't need to deal with their own shortcomings or struggles. it is always easier to point out someone else's flaws to hide your own. that's called insecurity. trust me. I know that one. and watching someone bully someone else is the easiest way to know they are struggling with something in their own life, whether they know it or not.

 

so how do we fix it?

 

it starts with yourself. I generally do not condone selfishness, but in the case of bettering yourself I wholeheartedly support being selfish (caveat: as long as it does not impede your other responsibilities). I know that when I take care of myself I am in better shape to help others. I can't help someone else unless I can help myself. though sometimes it does take helping someone to help yourself, but that is for a different discussion. the point is. figure out how you are special, remarkable, or extraordinary and hold on to that for dear life. anytime you take one step away from that knowledge is when you doubt it. don't doubt it. find it and keep adding to the list. there is a fine line between humble and boastful. you can be humbly extraordinary.

 

satan is real. it is terrifying how much he knows each and everyone of us. how much he knows our weaknesses. how much he wants us to suffer. if satan had a tangible face, I'd punch it. ok. I wouldn't. but I would give him the shadiest shade of a look I could manage my face to contort to. he is the voice in our heads that says we are not good enough. we are unwanted. undesired. imperfect. fat. old. wrinkly. dumb. a loser. lazy.

 

worthless.

 

but what a lie that is! so much of a lie that it makes me want to run around the streets and shake people and tell them how much they are worth. because they are worth sooooo much it is insane.

frankly, it is a waste of time.

 

please note. I am no pro at this. actually this is all stemming from a slight breakdown last night that my sister can attest too. she said something that I really liked, "don't let satan make you feel bad for something you don't have yet." at first I thought I understood this. but when really thinking about it, it was something completely different. I shouldn't feel bad about not (in this case) having a boy in my life who genuinely wants to be with me. that's how it should be. the problem is I try to fight the current. I need to relax and go with the flow. actually. precision of language. swim with the flow. I need to be actively in the river swimming toward something. not trying to catch up to someone or waiting for someone to catch up to me or waiting to be rescued.

 

I am extraordinary and I will accept nothing less. to quote Grey's Anatomy, sorry guys. this show just really has a lot of saying that are unforgettable. she says, "I think that we can be extraordinary together instead of ordinary apart."

 

since I am already bringing the extraordinary part, my man needs to add to that. I am not taking the extra out. I fought for it. I am fighting to keep it. I am not letting it go. Sorry, Elsa.

 

I am and will continue to be extraordinary.

lately, and by lately I mean over the past two years, I have really come to love slam poetry. I love the passion that comes out of it. this one I discovered. it is fantastic. be warned that it does contain a couple of f-bombs. it sorta relates to this post, the loving yourself part. but I mainly just really like it.