Can helping with
homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease
the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will
speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for
you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers
of this language their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love
(and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.
In Quality Time,
nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this
type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and
knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special
and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be
especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with
someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with
others through sharing time.
Physical Touch
A person whose
primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs,
pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to
show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility
are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t
always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited
compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are
important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward.
Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on
hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for
materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and
effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture
shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever
was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty,
thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else's love and affection for
you.
Now I always thought I was a certain way and that I received
in a certain way. So I took the test to find out what I really was. I tried to
be as honest as possible and really think back on occasions in my life where
these five things have really applied. This is what I got out of 30 questions:
Your Scores
9
|
Acts of Service
|
8
|
Quality Time
|
6
|
Physical Touch
|
5
|
Words of Affirmation
|
2
|
Receiving Gifts
|
To me, this looks pretty spread out. I knew that receiving
gifts is not my thing. I mean I love gifts, but they are not super important to
me.
Words of affirmation. I think everyone loves to be told appreciating
things about themselves. It is important to me, but I also know who I am and am
confident so I don’t particularly NEED someone to tell me those things all the
time.
Physical touch. I am not a touchy feely person. Plain and
simple. So when I do touch someone (apro pro of course) it is because I mean
it. It is something very sacred to me. I don’t take that lightly nor do I receive
it lightly. So when someone touches me (apro pro of course) it is a big deal to
me, even if it is not for them. Which gets a little tricky.
Quality time. I am an introvert, I think. So when I actually
want to spend time with someone, it is kinda
big deal. I’m choosing to spend my precious time with someone that feel
is worth spending that time with.
Lastly, acts of service. I already knew this would be my
number one. So I am a religious person and to me Christ is the best example of
how to live life. His life and ministry was one of service. I have learned that
charity AKA service is the pure love of Christ. I think that is why I value it
the most. When you really think about it, to me, it seems like the most
affectionate love language. The person expressing care is taking out of their
time to serve you. It is a completely selfless thing. Not saying I am a completely
selfless person. Not at all. But I enjoy making other people happy. My mom
would say sometimes I do that too much. She is probably right. But I don’t talk
about my feelings, I show them.
Why do I think this is important? Cause I’m dating. The quicker
I can figure out what language of love a guy needs, the easier for me to tell
if I think there could be something there. I don’t know particularly what
languages complement each other the best, but I would not be suited well with
someone who needs to receive gifts all the time. I don’t think like that so it wouldn’t
happen. Plus, I am not a millionaire. I know, the gifts don’t have to be big
things. Just teasing.
I would suggest that everyone learn these languages because
it is a better way to serve the ones you love. I am going to play detective for
the next few weeks and figure out what my friends’ love languages are. I am not
sure how to go about this…maybe I just have to try all five of them on them
covertly and see which one they respond to the most. Or I could just have them
take the quiz. Haha. Either way. I’ll figure it out.
